Have you ever had an experience while talking to someone that they’re not really listening to you? Whether it’s on a first date or even with a long-term partner, you find them nodding, asking you to repeat yourself, watching a TV screen in the background, or consumed with their own thoughts.
Unfortunately, it’s quite likely that you’ve unintentionally done this to someone else as well. While it may seem benign at first, not being present in the moment can be viewed as, “I’m not interested” or “I don’t care” to the person at the receiving end. On an ongoing basis, this leads to misunderstandings, miscommunication, and the potential end of a relationship.
If you want to have a long-lasting, successful relationship, it is essential to move beyond the standard definition of communication – i.e. back and forth conversation – and learn the art of mindful communication.
What Is Mindful Communication?
Mindfulness is defined as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” (1)
Mindful communication, therefore, refers to the process of being present during your interactions with other people. When you are undistracted and present in the moment, you will be better able to empathize with others, pick up on verbal and nonverbal cues, and be more sensitive to a different point of view, or situational context i.e. has this person had a bad day? (1)
The Benefits of Mindful Communication
While cultivating mindfulness has most often associated with reduced stress and anxiety, practitioners have also started using it as a tool to resolve and prevent conflict amongst couples, and to improve their overall relationships. (2)
For example, Dr. James Carson and his colleagues at the University of North Carolina found that an 8-week mindfulness training program led to higher relationship satisfaction for all participating couples. (2)
Another study by Wachs and Cordova also found a strong positive correlation between mindfulness and global marital adjustment. The research states that, “more mindful partners literally see each other more clearly, regard each other more nonjudgmentally, behave more responsively toward each other, and navigate challenging waters of intimacy more gracefully.” (3)
How To Communicate Better Using Mindful Meditation
Fortunately, mindfulness can be cultivated in a structured and practical manner on a daily basis with the aid of meditation. This is because meditation drives behavioural changes at a physiological level – it has the ability to physically alter the brain, by strengthening neural connections that encourage more rational behaviour, while weakening others that drive fear and irrational, emotional responses.
More specifically, meditation develops and nurtures mindful communication in the following ways: (4) (5)
1. Increased emotional intelligence and resilience
Quite simply put, meditation helps you let things go, and bounce back from negative emotions at a much faster rate. How so? Meditation strengthens the lateral prefrontal cortex, also known as the ‘assessment centre’. This is the portion of the brain that allows you to look at a situation from a more rational and logical perspective, and it decreases the tendency to take things personally.
In a relationship, this helps view a situation from a more rational perspective, and create space between immediate judgments and responses. You may find yourself snapping less at your partner, or not taking every comment as a personal attack.
2. Reduced reactivity
MRI scans have shown that an 8-week mindfulness meditation program can shrink the amygdala, the primal portion of the brain that governs initial emotional reactions to stress, such as anger and fear. Meditation was also able to weaken the connection between the amygdala and other areas of the brain so that it was activated less often.
Meditation essentially creates an emotional circuit breaker, lessening feels of fear and insecurity i.e. “is he or she going to leave me?”
3. Greater empathy
Research shows that the connection between the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex – the ‘me centre’ of the brain that references back to your perspective and also infers other people’s state of mind – and the insula – involved in ‘gut-level’ feelings – becomes stronger after meditation. This strengthened connection enhances your capacity to understand where another person is coming from, and put yourself in their shoes.
4. Improved self-awareness
Have you ever been in a relationship that made you forget who you were or made you lose sight of your values? Relationships do require vulnerability, however that doesn’t mean letting emotions and thoughts carry you away. As noted in the research above, since meditation helps strengthen the rational parts and intuitive parts of the brain on a daily basis, you will be more in tune with what feels right, what feels wrong, and whether a particular relationship is right for you.
This self-awareness also extends to greater ‘gut level’ intuition, which is governed by the insula region of the brain. The role of the insula is to monitor bodily sensations and assesses whether they are benign or harmful, and a strengthened insula will be better able to pick up on bodily cues from the muscles, skin, ears and eyes if something doesn’t feel right.
Tips On How To Communicate Better
If you would like to incorporate meditation into your daily routine, you can view this beginner’s meditation guide here.
You can also reap the benefits of mindful communication by incorporating some of the strategies below into your communication with a current or new partner:
Clear your head before beginning a conversation
Listen to your partner without interrupting
Make direct eye contact
Allow your partner to share negative emotions without needing to fix it
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes, do not look at a situation from your perspective
Do not make assumptions, ask for clarification
Choose your words carefully. Before you say something, ask yourself if you would like it if this was said to you
Communication can make or break a relationship, but it is important to remember that the first step towards being a better communicator has to begin with you being more mindful in your daily interactions, and cultivating greater self-awareness.
Interested in learning more about mindful communication and connecting with our Muse team in person?
Bumble Canada will be hosting three days of empowering connections and programming, centred around fostering and finding connection.
After an amazing 2017 CES and with 2018 now in full swing, we wanted to let you know about *THREE* (yes, we’ve been busy) new updates that have been launched since January 2018. Along with several smaller bug fixes to improve the overall stability of the app the following updates have been launched:
iOS UPDATE 12.1: Log-in Issues Resolved
After our previous update, some of you were experiencing authentication issues at log-in.
These issues have been resolved so now everyone can log-in (and never miss a session!)
iOS UPDATE 12.2: Continued support for iOS 9 & iOS 10
Many of you with older iOS versions had asked for support, so we’ve ensured the app is compatible with both older iOS 9 & iOS 10.
iOS UPDATE 12.3: Fullscreen Support
Attention all iPhone X users: You can now enjoy your Muse App experience fullscreen with added iPhone X support.
…and don’t worry Android users we haven’t forgotten about you – we’ve recently completed updates 7.1 and 7.2 with bug-fixes and improvements as well. It’s important to note that we are constantly trying to improve your Muse App experience and take your feedback seriously – so KEEP IT COMING!
Are there other features you’d like to see in the future? Let us know!
Today’s fast-paced environment is hard to escape. At the end of a busy day or week, it may not seem like there’s a lot of time to spend undistracted and one-on-one with your partner. For example, does a typical evening with your partner look something like this: both of you coming home from a busy day only to quickly whip up some food and settle in on the couch with Instagram open in one hand and the remote in the other?
Mindfulness and Relationships
If you’re mentally nodding your head – mindfulness is a perfect way to connect and deepening the intimacy you have with your partner. Why? Because being more mindful = being more PRESENT.
“Mindfulness practices and meditation have recently become popular in therapeutic circles,” according to Julia Colwell, Ph.D., psychologist and author of The Relationship Skills Workbook. “With the support of data from neuropsychology about how impactful mindfulness practices are on changing the brain, therapists are encouraging their clients to meditate and to use other somatically focused practices.”
At its core, mindfulness is about accepting and paying attention to experiences moment to moment. These experiences could be anything from having sex or really hearing your partner’s side of an argument. The real key to being a mindful partner is being open to each experience with thoughtfulness and curiosity in order to notice your own feelings in a patient way. Being mindful also includes being nonjudgmental and gentle towards your experience and allowing yourself to let the experience exist exactly as it is without trying to force it to be different (Brantley & Millstine, 2008).
Improving Intimacy: The Mindfully In Love Study
Mindfully In Love: A meta-analysis was published in the February 2016 issue of the Journal of Human Sciences and Extension found that mindfulness can be linked to profoundly satisfying, connected relationships.
Researchers pooled 10 different studies, including two mindfulness intervention studies. and found that the relationship between mindfulness and relationship satisfaction was statistically significant with an overall effect size of .27. This finding suggests that higher levels of mindfulness are associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
According to study insights, mindfulness has the ability to promote acceptance and less avoidant behaviours in romantic relationships (Kabat-Zinn, 1990; Wachs & Cordova, 2007). Think about the last time you didn’t clean out the dishwasher — even though you know that annoys your partner — and avoided being in the kitchen at the same time as them for the rest of the evening.
Now think about how NOT participating in avoidant behaviour such as that can help you be a more considerate and loving partner – and in turn lower the reactivity of your angry partner when they bring it up in an argument down the road.
Some research has also suggested that practicing mindfulness has positively influenced social connectedness (Deci & Ryan, 1991), social skills, and perspective taking (Schutte et al., 2001) and has inhibited negative reactivity during conflict (Baer, 2003).
Ultimately, practicing mindfulness helps relationships in 2 major ways:
It helps to improve your relationship with yourself and your emotions, allowing for less reactive and calmer responses during conflict.
It creates an improved ability to stay present and attentive when with your partner, allowing for more meaningful connection.
So, how do you get started?
A great place to start is simply having a conversation with your partner about how you want to be a more present partner. It can be beneficial for both of you to develop a practice, though you don’t need your partner to join you to benefit your relationship. Simply letting them know that this is something you want to put effort into lets them know you’re invested in putting effort into your relationship.
Starting a new meditation practice can be intimidating and because results are not always instantaneous, many people give up quickly. It’s important to note that, like any other habit, consistency is key but you don’t need an hour a day.
Our Muse Headband was specifically designed to make meditation easy for new users and you (and your partner!) can start with as little as 5 min a day. To learn more go HERE.
My 40-day journey into meditation with Muse (the brain-sensing headband)
This article has been republished with permission from Kal.ceo. This was originally published at Kal.ceo on July 1, 2015 and slightly updated on Jan 21, 2018. Some sections of the original article have been removed, however, you can view the full article HERE.
This is Kal’s personal experience and thoughts on Muse and meditation.
He states: “while I’ve done my best to take a process-based approach, I am not a scientist, doctor, or guru. I encourage you to do your homework and feel free to call me out on anything I may have missed or got wrong. This include grammar and speling mestakes!
In attempts to make things simple, I’ve divided the article into six sections. From the table of content below, you can easily click around and navigate from one to another at your pleasure.
Thanks for reading.”
About this article
What started out to be an exercise in self-improvement quickly became an obsession. After documenting my meditation sessions and showing a few close friends — one thing led to another — I found myself with this 7,000-word article. Alas, I’m super excited to finally launch and share with you my journey into meditation using Muse — the brain sensing headband. Included are highlights of noteworthy sessions, a ton of nerdy data, and related research I’ve gathered.
Highlights you can look forward to:
Meditation session while medicated on cannabis
An emotional breakdown
Discovering how theta-wave rhythms prompt epiphanies
Table of contents:
About Muse and the brain – What do electric eels have to do with EEG
Observations and insights – What I’ve learned about meditation and me…
Noteworthy sessions – Interesting stories,highlights, and epic failures
The data – Nerds and Geeks, I present to you: sexy graphs and charts
Approach and process – My attempt at being an amateur scientist
Epilogue – My journey into meditation
“Muse [by Interaxon] is the first tool in the world that can give you accurate, real-time feedback on what’s happening in your brain when you meditate. It provides motivational challenges and rewards to encourage you to build a regular practice.”
7 sensors to read delta, theta, alpha, beta and gamma waves
Wraps comfortably around the forehead and above the ears
Super simple to use: turn it on, connect device to app via Bluetooth, put on the headband, and begin
Headphones/earbuds optional but highly recommended
Pre-session questions ensure device is properly calibrated
During session, app delivers real-time feedback via audio
Brain activity is recorded and displayed in-app, via line-graph format
The Muse app (for both iOS and Android) visualizes your brain activity, specifically how calm or active your mind is. Gamification (challenges, badges, and awards) keeps you coming back.
Real-time audio feedback
The app delivers audio feedback based on brain activity. When very calm, ambience noise is silenced while birds are heard chirping and landing within the vicinity. Depending on brain activity, sounds of light rain to heavy rain and thunder can be heard — no birds chirping.
At the time of writing this, you can choose between two settings: rain in a forest, or waves by an ocean shore. (Update: there are now five distinctive soundscapes.)
Research and usage
Over 75 different research institutions are currently using Muse.
“Studies have shown 10 one-hour sessions with a neurofeedback-based EEG system can be as effective as Ritalin in terms of treating ADD, with those effects persisting for six months. With a headband like the Muse, it’s totally possible to deliver a drug-free treatment for ADD. That’s the kind of thing that we’re really excited about looking at and working in as we go forward,”
– Trevor Coleman, Muse co-founder
For more research information on Muse, you can visit the research section HERE.
Brain science primer
A few definitions:
Electroencephalography (EEG) is typically a non-invasive (however invasive electrodes are often used in specific applications) method to record electrical activity of the brain along the scalp. EEG measures voltage fluctuations resulting from ionic currents within the neurons of the brain.
EEG Biofeedback is a learning strategy that enables persons to alter their brain waves. When information about a person’s own brainwave characteristics is made available to him, he can learn to change them. You can think of it as exercise for the brain.
Neurofeedback-therapy (NFT), offers an additional treatment option for people with eating disorders, addictions, mood disorders, anxiety and attention deficit disorder.
46AD: Scribonius Largus uses two electric eels caught from the Mediterranean Sea against Emperor Claudius’ head to relieve savage migraines. This is the first recorded instance of electrical stimulation being used as a medical treatment.
1798: Sir Alexander Crichton discusses hyperactivity and mental restlessness in his book “An inquiry into the nature and origin of mental derangement”.
1902: George Still describes ADHD for the first time.
1924: German psychiatrist Hans Berger connects electrodes (small round discs of metal) to a patient’s scalp and detects current by using a ballistic galvanometer (a medical device, not a Transformer).
1932: G Ditch becomes the first researcher into QEEG (Quantitative EEG).
1968: Joe Kamiya popularizes neurofeedback in an article for Psychology Today about alpha brain wave experiments.
1970: Doctor Robert White performs the first head transplant from one monkey to another.
1977: More public awareness on the subject thanks to books like Stress and the Art of Biofeedback, written by Barbara Brown, Research Psychologist.
80–90s: Neurofeedback is being applied to a wide variety of psychological and central nervous system based conditions, including ADD/ADHD.
Neurofeedback is used for peak performance by professional sports teams, Olympic athletes, and business people. It is commonly used as a non-drug solution for ADHD, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and emotional conditions of all sorts.
Neuromarketing emerges, aimed at making better marketing decisions based on neuroscience.
Neuroethics is becoming increasingly important in the field of brain science.
Consumers can now buy DIY kits that electrically stimulate the brain to help with depression, anxiety, and a host of other mental ailments
Similar to Star Trek’s Borg, scientists connect three monkey brains together to create a ‘brain-net’. The brain-net is able to solve complex problems that the monkeys cannot solve individually.
Doctors like Adam Gazzaley and Jane McGonigal research and create brain games to assist in a variety of areas from strengthening cognition to overcoming trauma.
Correlation vs causation
Do peak performers eventually find meditation and attempt to reap its rewards? Or does meditation help achieve peak performance? Between the anecdotal testimonies of peak performers like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Richard Branson in combination with scientific research, the benefits of meditation is solid.
More than just spirituality
For some, meditation is a way to connect to the universe, or perhaps a higher Being. More recently the scientific community has acknowledged that there’s more to the practice than connecting with God.
“There is nothing spooky or irrational about mindfulness, and the literature on its psychological benefits is now substantial.” 
– Sam Harris, Neuroscientist, Philosopher
Increases mindfulness while decreasing the default mode network (DMN), the brain network responsible for mind-wandering and self-referential thoughts
Improves concentration and attention
Helps relieve depression and anxiety
Helps break addictions
Helps preserve the ageing brain
May even lead to volume changes in key areas of the brain
The practice of meditation has been around as early as 2600 BC.“Some authors have even suggested the hypothesis that the emergence of the capacity for focused attention, an element of many methods of meditation, may have contributed to the final phases of human biological evolution.”Woah.
“Upgrade your grey matter,
Cause one day it may matter.”
– Dan the Automator
Before, during, and after
Alcohol in small amounts is not as bad as I thought, no real impact on my Muse Calm Score (CS)
Lack of sleep, hunger, and pre-meditation emotions impact CS
Cannabis leads to lower CS the next day
Random memories forgotten seem to surface without purpose
Session is over fast when calm, seems to never end when distressed (more on this later)
Spikes of brain activity is produced by epiphanies and REM (more on this later)
Epiphanies and answers to tough questions surface out of nowhere
Self-awareness and awareness of environment and others heightened throughout the day
Better decisions throughout the day
Increased peacefulness, and general happiness throughout the day
Referring to the audio feedback from the app, my partner Lannie asked,“How does the feedback loop affect your meditations?” My thoughts below:
Life is a feedback loop. We’re often aware that we are being observed. It’s important to accept that we cannot avoid either the noise of life and observation (judgement) from others.
I like the feedback. It notifies me when I stray.
At first, I was affected by the audio, and thus a feedback-loop was experienced. Eventually, I got much better at not letting the feedback affect me, sometimes forgetting it’s there.
The science of observation: Only once observed, does matter change its behaviour from waves to particles. If matter changes on the atomic level — you better believe we do too. Check out wave-particle duality or the double-split experiment. (video)
Two types of calm
The Muse app differentiates between three levels of brain activity: calm, neutral, and active. However, the line-graphs can tell a very different story. There’s ‘calm’ and then there is ‘…I’m in Nirvana calm’.
Left: A pretty calm state. Right: That time I touched God.
Brain activity can fluctuate quite a bit, even within the calm band, sometimes coming close to or slightly into neutral. Typically, this is the case. Nirvana-calm is when brain activity is extremely close or touching the zero-line, and remains there for seconds to minutes at a time.
Such an example of this can be found under ‘Noteworthy sessions // Absolute bliss’.
Early morning meditation sessions between 4 and 5 am became my favourite. In fact, they account for 48% of my sessions. This is when I experience the most peace, silence, and stillness.
My morning routine:
Wake up at 4 am
Drink half to a full cup of Bulletproof Coffee (BPC)
Surprisingly, being awake and alert yields higher CS. While alert, I am able to easily bring my attention back to breathing. This is more evident during my early morning routines after drinking a cup of BPC.
One would think being tired results in less brain activity; I’ve experienced the opposite. Fatigue and exhaustion always result in low CS. Exhaustion creates an alarming amount of head-noise which is very difficult to overcome. Imagine a dozen broken records playing the same time. Exhaustion reminds me of a computer left on for too long, running unnecessary processes in the background, burning itself out. Similar to a computer, the brain needs to shut down and cool off.
There is a temporary solution to exhaustion: stretching and yoga.
Stretching and light yoga
After a few minutes of stretching, yoga, focused breathing, and a bit of kung fu to channel my energies, my CS generally improves, sometimes dramatically. I’ve also noticed my posture naturally improves, allowing for better breathing.
Brain scans of yoga practitioners reveal that yoga produces a decrease in anxiety and a boost in a brain chemical that enhances our mood.
“Yogic practices can be used as psycho-physiologic stimuli to increase endogenous secretion of melatonin, which, in turn, might be responsible for an improved sense of well-being.” 
– Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine
Mindset and intention
Similar to physical preparation, mental preparation is important before meditation as well. Some call this mental preparation ‘setting intentions’.
Fluster and frustration: Typically from too much going on, the noise seems impossible to silence resulting in lower CS.
Anticipation and retrospection: The anticipation of a future event will create an active mind. Similarly, retrospection creates mental noise. A quote comes to mind:
If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present”
– Lao Tzu
Desire for “high-score”: Typically a noisy session, the desire to achieve a high CS results in the opposite.
Anger: Interestingly, anger is not nearly as bad as being annoyed, sad, or exhausted. My hypothesis is that anger turns off my ‘thinking brain’ allowing me to more easily tune out thoughts. Also, the high energy makes me alert, able to better observe my breathing. Thanks Ben Morgan for the additional thought on this.
For pleasure: Highest CS is achieved when I genuinely want to meditate, and not for any other ulterior motive.
“If you meditate for an ulterior motive, that is to say, to improve your mind, to improve your character, to be more efficient in life, you’ve got your eye on the future and you are not meditating. Because the future is a concept. It doesn’t exist.”
– Alan Watts (1915–1973)
Observing vs committing
Through meditation, I have witnessed the crazy amount of random and unprovoked thoughts that enter my mind throughout the day. Attempting to suppress them only strengthens them. The key is to observe and let the thoughts pass. In my best meditation sessions, I am able to observe without judgement, interference, or commitment.
“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.”
– Eckhart Tolle
Do vs try
When I try to meditate or focus on my breathing, my brain activity is high, and my CS low. There is a mysterious area between wanting and doing — difficult to describe — that produces great results. By not trying to focus on my breathing, but rather, becoming one with my breath, I am able to experience more peace. When I am able to do this, nothing else exists. Not I, not my surroundings, just my breath.
Only a few times did I experience this extraordinary feeling.
Attention vs interest
The attempt to ‘pay attention’ or ‘focus’ can actually increase brain activity. By simply changing the word ‘attention’ to ‘interest’ makes a huge difference. The continued mantra of being ‘interested’ allows me to enjoy, indulge, and lose myself to the serene and beautiful rhythms of breathing.
“Interest creates flow, flow prompts a feeling of joy. It’s easy to be interested, while difficult (and goal-oriented) to pay attention or to ‘focus’.”– Someone
Unlike attention and focus, interest is pleasurable and without a future objective. I believe this was key.
This idea may be a bit strange, but it works. Language allows one to describe, label, and provide commentary. Disconnecting from language allows me to observe and be aware of my thoughts without being consumed by them.
This is an idea I came up with that seems to work for me, but I have not found any literature on this subject in my research.
Time is an illusion
We’ve all experienced the intangible inconsistency of time. This feeling is amplified during meditation. During my most blissful sessions, time seems to stand still, and paradoxically the session is over in mere moments. The opposite is true when my mind is flustered, frustrated, and noisy. Time seems to move fast at a thousand thoughts per minute, while the session just never seems to end.
“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”
– Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
Anger, and the 24-hour rule
I’ve been collecting data on my emotions and moods for quite some time — even before starting my meditation practice. One of my goals for 2015 was to dramatically reduce the number of times I experience anger. (I’m a passionate person.)
The raw data that I collected through the Muse headband has helped me see how anger affects my brain, even days after. This has prompted a new life-hack practice in which I (do my best to) give no power to my anger. I don’t deny it, but I don’t take it seriously. I find that postponing my thoughts on the subject for 12–24 hours almost always gives me a new perspective. A better perspective. The initial feeling of anger simply evaporates without effort.
Suffice to say,
Meditation has helped me better protect myself from mental noise and chatter. Increased self-awareness has brought a much-needed perspective and has enhanced strategic decision making tenfold. I can better see the cascading effects of each thought, and decision. My creativity has skyrocketed. My ideas are better, and they come more frequently. My mental output and stamina have also increased. Not to mention, my confidence is stronger, and more stable. I’m less prone to breaking from an unforeseen obstacle or failure.
You can bet that ninety-nine 12-minute sessions yielded some very interesting data for this noobie. Below are my favourite sessions. Some great, some horrible.
71 // 2015–05–29 Fri 2314hrs 78%
71 // = session number
2015–06–23 = date
Tue = day of week
0457 hrs = time of day
95% = calm score
Spikes: Epiphanies and Ideas
What an epiphany looks like
02 // 2015–05–24 Sun 1028hrs 93%
On Thursday, May 24th, I was consumed by a business challenge. I avoided thinking about it all weekend with no success. Anxiously, thoughts kept popping up in my brain like a broken record — until I turned to meditation. “Scientists have noted that these slower (theta) brain wave patterns are accompanied by deep tranquility, [and] flashes of creative insight.”
See the huge spike  10 minutes in? Voila! That was an epiphany to my big challenge I tried so hard not to think about it.
Waves of ideas
53 // 2015–06–17 Wed 2241hrs 84%
Have you ever surfed the waves of the Northern Pacific Ocean off the coast of Honolulu? Neither have I, but I doubt it’s as amazing as this session. Check out the spikes representing waves of ideas.
Partying, before and after
A night of partying hard negatively affects my brain the next day. Interestingly, my mind is also pretty noisy before an event. The mere anticipation of partying gets me stirred-up and wild.
Golden State vs Cavaliers
25 // 2015–06–04 Thu 2358hrs 22%
About to party
Excited to go out, my mind is anticipating some good times.
83 // 2015–06–27 Sat 2130hrs 57%
Awake for 24 hours
Can’t find calm when you’ve partied so hard the night before…
59 // 2015–06–20 Sat 1417hrs 39%
Hungry, tired, sleepy, exhausted, and doing it for all the wrong reasons. The following three sessions were amongst my most dreaded sessions. While 60% (07) and 71% (89) are not my lowest, these sessions felt like torture.
Wanted to achieve greatness, but afraid to let go.
07 // 2015–05–27 2258hrs Wed 60%
Starving and exhausted
Pushed myself too hard. Could hardly get through this session.
17 // 2015–06–01 1210hrs Mon 09%
More on this below in “Day 38: The worst and best day”
89 // 2015–06–29 0502hrs Mon 71%
Upset the night before
They say going to sleep upset or distressed is something you should avoid — and for the most part, I do. That being said, the following two sessions represent the morning after an upsetting evening. Quite low compared to my early morning average of 87.5%.
Moral: Don’t go to bed upset.
While I stayed calm during the actual conflict (the night prior), it clearly affected me more than I originally had thought.
39 // 2015–06–12 0438hrs Fri 57%
Upset with the wifey
Why do I ever challenge the wisdom of “Happy wife, happy life”? Because I’m a man, and I’m always wrong.
87 // 2015–06–29 0431hrs Mon 68%
Day 38: The worst and best day
Anxiety and defeat
87 // 2015–06–29 0431hrs Mon 68%
88 // 2015–06–29 0446hrs Mon 82%
89 // 2015–06–29 0502hrs Mon 71%
Started a bit rough, only to get worse. Below are my notes from that day, session 89.
“At this point — I am completely defeated. I can’t seem to get a grip. I can’t seem to calm my nerves, quiet my mind, and relax. At the end of this session, I find myself wallowing in misery. My head in my hands, wondering, ‘what just happened?’. I was so confident. I thought I had mastered my mind. Now I’m just scared. Scared shitless that I’ll never master my mind, and that this is the beginning of it getting worse.
Thoughts of work. Inadequacies as a father. You name it — I was thinking it. My mind spiralling out of control. The irony. Just last night I was studying body language, and how it affects our hormonal state, and thus, our mind.”
I went to bed upset. I awoke with the pain bodies still remaining from the night prior. For a moment, everything that I had learned up to this point about meditation and my mind, seemed to have vanished. I felt lost, and just a few days before the end of my 40-day journey. I thought to myself, “What am I going to write about now?”
90 // 2015–06–29 Mon 0543hrs 93%
I knew that my anguish was all in my head, literally. Remembering how one’s physiology affects the mind, I went for a walk, followed by stretching and yoga in the park, and a decision not to care. I thought to myself, “If I meditate, it’s for me, and not because I’m writing an article. Just, plain ol’ beautiful me.” Arriving back home, I did one more session.
Leading up to bliss
Later that evening…
First session yielded 67%. Totally okay with that. Second session: 92% of bliss. Don’t know if it was a coincidence, or linked to my morning breakdown, but session 92 was amazing.
91 // 2015–06–29 Mon 2015hrs 67%
92 // 2015–06–29 Mon 2032hrs 91%
A description of this session is below in “Absolute bliss // 2nd place: Amazing day 38”.
Honourable mention: I did it for me
80 // 2015–06–26 Fri 0459hrs 96%
This session is amongst my greatest. I didn’t care about the score, or this article. Pure and selfish — simply for the sake of meditation. I wanted to lose myself in my breathing, and I did. It was wonderful. I was in flow.
 Random thought about websites updates,  Drifted off thinking about time and space.
3rd Place: 11.9 minutes of absolute bliss
32 // 2015–06–09 Tue 0424hrs 99%
This was an absolute amazing session. But how I achieved 99% calm — I have no idea. I have yet to achieve such a blissful state.
2nd place: Amazing day 38
92 // 2015–06–29 2032hrs Mon 91%
This session was by far the weirdest. Unlike every session before and after, my breathing did not become softer and slower, but the opposite. Every breath seemed to get deeper and faster. At one point, I was taking in way more oxygen than I was exhaling CO2. My chest expanded upwards, and my posture with it. I was in a rhythmic state, unable to slow myself down.
Oh those orange and red chakras!
I’ve collected quite a bit of data, including session time, day, and what I did the night before. I documented this data in two places: an Adobe Illustrator file with notes accompanying each graph, as well as a Google Spreadsheet capturing all the statistical data.
Below is a summary of the data collected, and detailed in a Google Spreadsheet (enclosed below).
“LS” only takes the last session of a meditation event into account. More on this below.
I started meditating to increase the quality of life. Documenting and measuring myself is something I enjoy, and do a lot of. The idea of writing an article came after many friends showed interest in learning more about my journey into meditation using Muse.
At first, I thought thirty days was adequate time to provide enough data to yield insight. I later extended this to 40 days. The additional ten days turned out to be a great decision as I had some very interesting experiences in the last ten days. You can read about it in Noteworthy Sessions.
Calm score (CS)
A CS is a score the app gives you. The higher the CS, the better you were able to focus on your breath and not be consumed by your mind’s chatter.
A meditation event is one or more consecutive sessions.
All sessions (AS) vs last sessions (LS)
AS refers to data from all sessions, while LS only takes the last session of a meditation event into account.
I believe LS is a more accurate representation of my mind-state, which is the end of a meditation event. I consider previous sessions as warm-ups. Of course, AS data is included.
Constants vs variable
There were factors that I felt were important to keep constant, while some I allowed to vary. Below is a list:
At least one session per day
Sessions in a quiet place
Technology: Device: iPhone 5, Volume level: 50%, Audio option: Rain in Forest, Headphones: Sony earbuds
Number of sessions per day
Pre-session stretching and light yoga
Positions, places and attire
The majority of my meditation events were in my office, sitting on an office chair, feet up on another chair. I later decided to keep my feet flat on the ground as a standard, considering I won’t always have the opportunity to put them up.
Some meditation events were in bed, typically evening and midday sessions (I often work from home), a few in my minivan, a couple in my son’s bedroom, and one on the balcony. I’d typically wear simple and loose clothing, like loose jeans and a hoodie or pajama pants and a Tee.
Diet, exercise, sleep, and partying
I typically ate a slow-carb diet.
Aside from light stretching, I stopped exercising or going to the gym. I’m in the middle of a weird body experiment. A whole post is needed to explain this decision.
Because I was waking up quite early (4am), I’d usually take one to two naps throughout the day. Naps were typically between 15 to 60 minutes, depending on how many hours I slept the night prior.
I drank occasionally and medicated using cannabis a few times.
I didn’t stop partying, just partied less. I believe regular meditation suppressed my desire to party as I became more interested in other creative pursuits.
I did a few meditation sessions prior to starting my 40-day journey. I went through ten 10-minute guided meditation sessions using the Headspace app. I also clocked in several sessions using Muse. Those sessions are:
2015–05–16 0922hrs Sat 82% 03 mins
2015–05–17 1157hrs Sun 54% 03 mins
2015–05–19 0922hrs Tue 87% 05 mins
2015–05–20 0638hrs Wed 79% 05 mins
2015–05–21 0707hrs Thu 65% 07 mins
Screen-captured the line-graph using iPhone’s built-in screen capture.
Ported over the image(s) onto my MacBook Pro.
Placed images in Adobe Illustrator (each session in its own layer).
Within Illustrator, made reference points, lines, and notes.
Any points of the brain scan I felt were worthy would be highlighted.
Added data from each session to Google Spreadsheet. Data included:
Calm, neutral and active states
Date and time
Day number, session number
My first proper introduction to the benefits meditation and prayer was in 2003 when I found a stack of National Geographic magazines. It’s at this point I learned that meditation strengthens the pre-frontal cortex; the area of the brain that regulates feelings of peace and happiness. Suffice to say, I’ve known of the benefits of meditation for years, but never really started.
Fast forward more than a decade, I’ve been meditating daily for the last 90 days, clocking in over 38 hours. I can’t imagine my life without it. I only wish I started sooner. A quote comes to mind:
“To know and not to do is really not to know.”
– Stephen R Covey
It was a beautiful sunny day in Napa. I was attending Mastermind Talks. Answering questions from stage was Tim Ferriss.“What would you change about your past?” Asked a member of the audience. After a long pause, he replied “Starting meditation sooner”. Hearing how he started and stopped but never really committed, was an experience I could relate to. Hearing how much it made him super-human, was something I could not. It was at this point that I said to myself, ‘enough is enough; no more excuses,’ and made the decision to take meditation seriously.
Later that evening I was surprised to find that I won a Muse headband. The universe works in mysterious ways.
Meditation + technology = game changer
Whether you consider yourself a high-achiever, an elite performer, or perhaps someone struggling with adversity and trying to find happiness — regular meditation should be part of your formula for success. Simply, meditation is good for your brain.
“You can’t manage what you don’t measure.”
At no other time in history has brain (and other areas of our mind and body) sensing technology been accessible and affordable to the consumer. If you want to make leaps and bounds in your life: upgrade your brain by meditating. And it starts with measuring it
What started out as a simple data capturing experiment turned out to be a rather big mountain. I couldn’t have done it without the help of a bunch of people, included but not limited to my awesome wife and partner Lannie Le, Alkarim Nasser, Sami Sadaghiani, Sarah Eskandarpour, Richard Lazazzera, the peeps at InteraXon. And of course, Tim Ferriss.
. Nirvana is a place of perfect peace and happiness, like heaven. In Hinduism and Buddhism, nirvana is the highest state that someone can attain, a state of enlightenment, meaning a person’s individual desires and suffering go away. Vocabulary.com/dictionary/nirvana
. Only one day was missed (Saturday, June 6th).
. This was not always possible. While ambient noise was fine, abrupt noise and background conversations impacted session.
. 7/16 – 8/16 (50%) bars depending on level ambient sounds. If the volume was too loud, it would be distracting. If too low, getting adequate feedback was difficult.
. When possible, I would wear comfortable clothing.
. I should have made this a constant, but I simply forgot at times. When I did prepare to meditate with the proper intent (peace and calm vs I’m collecting data for an article) I’d achieve much greater results.
. My inlaws were visiting from Vietnam, so there was no avoiding traditional rice or noodle dishes at times.
. Interestingly, after my first week I really lost interest in both alcohol and medicating using cannabis. Not sure if it was the meditation or the combination of better choices, including slow carb diet.
With the ever-increasing demand to service patients that suffer from anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and the compounding stressors of everyday life, practitioners find themselves asking:
“How can I help my patients learn to become more accepting and aware of their experience in the present moment?”
Both mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) techniques have grown in popularity over the past few decades since their inception. Mindfulness has been touted as one of the most cost-effective, patient empowering therapies for a range of conditions centered around the importance of mental health. Setting the stage for positive personal transformation, some view mindfulness as Cognitive Based Therapy (CBT) on steroids.
Meditation has been extensively validated by leading neuroscientists for improving brain health and being able to literally change the structure of the brain. Furthermore, meditation has been shown to be as effective as antidepressant medication such as SSRIs in treating depression and is one of the most effective treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder.
A key concept in the approach of mindfulness-oriented therapy is awareness and acceptance first, followed by change. By empowering patients with the skills they need to become mentally agile, mindfulness helps our patients learn how to lean into the discomfort of their internal experience and gain control over their day-to-day reality — ultimately improving their clinical outcomes and overall quality of life.
Meditating With Muse: Improving Patient Outcomes
Beginning and maintaining a mindfulness practice can be difficult, even for those with the best intentions. For new learners, being able to identify the subtle differences in fluctuating mental states can be challenging — especially in order to begin to actively shift between levels of distraction and focus.
Muse allows patients to experience the benefits of meditation without the uncertainty that can be associated with traditional meditation practice. Additionally, Muse solves the common problem of adherence to practice by making meditation easy.
Meditation Made Easy:
Gamification = engagement + enjoyment
Tracking = accountability + motivation
Real-time feedback = control + attunement
What The Professionals Are Saying: Muse In Practice
We’ve been fortunate enough to have several health care practitioners integrate Muse into their practice – with amazing results.
Dr. Tom Diamond Ph.D., RCC, BCN, Board Certified in Neurofeedback had the following testimonial:
“Muse is an excellent first step into both meditation and Neurofeedback. My clients are quickly able to learn Muse’s clear and well-organized program, and they are thrilled to see their scores rise as they gain meditation and relaxation skills. Muse makes self-driven brain change practical and enjoyable for many folks who would otherwise shy away from the difficult startup phase of meditation or the higher cost of traditional neurofeedback.
As a neurofeedback practitioner, the Muse has helped me develop a whole new series of lower cost, entry level sessions that significantly increase my marketing opportunities. And the Muse compliments my other services, motivating clients to grow into higher level services, such as brain map assessments and traditional specialist-driven neurofeedback. I also offer training for practitioners in my Muse-enhanced services.”
Here’s what Michael Decaire, MA, C. Psych., R. Psych., RP. and Dominika Zarzeczny, ND., BSc. have to say about how they have used Muse in practice and how they have seen it impact their patient’s treatment progress:
Meditating With Muse: How Does Muse Help?
Muse is designed to help novices learn to meditate and form the habit of a regular and rewarding practice. By being able to experience real-time feedback on fluctuating mental states, patients are able to progressively recognize the difference in mental chatter and calm focus at a much faster rate.
This paired with the ability track and visualize brainwave patterns, milestones, and rewards allows users to quickly overcome the learning curve that other beginners may struggle with.
Anchors and Attentional Loops
At its core, meditation relies on something known as the attentional loop. The meditator places their attention on an “anchor” — such as the sensation of their breath — to help them gently bring their focus back when their mind begins to wander.
As external distractions arise (ie. noise, motion, changes in temperature, bright lights) or internal distractions (ie. thoughts of the past/future, emotions, pain) eventually, the meditator becomes aware that their mind has wandered, and places their attention back on the anchor, and begins again. Each time a patient goes through the attentional loop, the brain’s ability to be aware of and control its own attention is reinforced and enhanced.
Meditation works without the assistance of a brain-sensing headband, but Muse makes the exercise more efficient by giving the user audio feedback to help them know when their mind has wandered. When the meditator loses focus, and their mind begins to wander, Muse senses the changes in their brain and the soundscape becomes more intense.
The increasing sounds serve as a cue for the user to investigate whether their mind is on task or not. It helps the user achieve meta-attention faster than they would otherwise be able to. That means that during a session with Muse, the user will go through more iterations of the attentional loop in a session thereby strengthening their neural pathways. Furthermore, the results at the end of each session help meditators quantify and understand how well they are doing from session to session.
Think Your Patients Could Benefit From Muse?
If you’re a practitioner who would like to improve your own personal practice or if you have patients that you think could benefit from a device that can quickly and effectively teach meditation techniques, join our professional’s program HERE. When you sign-up you’ll have access to 15% off our regular priced Muse headbands with your professional account.