Blissful news: You don’t have to shell out big money for fancy hotels, sexy La Perla lingerie or expensive sex toys to have a great sex life. Nor do you need to have a perfect body. It turns out that what’s happening in your mind can have a delightful impact on your pleasure centres. Here are five ways that meditation and focused-attention training can make you a better lover.
1. Tune in, turn on. Mindfulness meditation trains you to be more present. And a key component of having better sex is being able to tune into the moment, yourself and your partner, says psychologist Marsha Lucas, author of Rewire Your Brain for Love, on Mindful.org. She adds that studies suggest those who meditate have a thicker anterior insula, a part of the brain that helps you perceive bodily experiences and some emotions. So meditating may help you experience more pleasure and express yourself physically.
2. Enjoy every sweet step. With meditation, you learn to let go and revel in the journey, rather than striving for an end goal. Applying the same approach to sex lets you reach intensely erotic or ecstatic states, writes Pamela Madsen for Psychology Today.
3. Focus on pleasure. When you’re making love, the last thing you want to think about is your to-do list, but these thoughts do pop up given our busy lives. Training your mind with meditation can help you push aside stressful thoughts and worries and focus on mutual bliss. Meditating with Muse, the brain-sensing headband, teaches you to tame wandering thoughts and calm your mind.
4. Feel your body. Studies by researcher Lori Brotto at the University of British Columbia found that mindfulness meditation helped women become more aware of their body’s sexual response, enjoy sex more and overcome sexual dysfunction.
5. Savour the sensations. Mindfulness and meditation encourage you to focus on your breath and your sensations, and this same focus can help you revel in sexual moments as well, according to the Kinsey Institute. And in the same way that you set aside time to meditate and unwind, scheduling time for truly connected, mindful sex can really take intimacy to the next level.